ZOMG ‘BLOG

There has been a lot of talk about global epidemics lately, but they all seem to fizzle out. I mean SARS, bird flu, etc. never managed to reach a truly impressive global scale. This may sound like a “good thing” but IT IS NOT. We NEED more global epidemics. The fate of the Earth depends on it!

Epidemics make us stronger. Obviously there are the evolutionary benefits i.e. the stronger humans survive. Of course the more clever microbes will survive this struggle as well so this would seem to be a never-ending stalemate. However, that is only true if you consider a closed reference frame of humans vs. microbes. The actual truth is that this constant struggle makes our whole planet stronger.

When aliens invade it will serve us well to have a planet that contains both mighty disease-resistant humans AND powerful, adaptable infectious microbes. While the diseases may appear to be our foes now, when the time comes they will be our powerful allies! The fact is that in the inevitable future galactic war the most fearsome aliens will be the filthiest ones with the most unstoppable germs. So remember, we must never let our battles with the microbes become too one-sided if we ever hope to become those filthy aliens!

kthxbye.

Well the news today is that the PS3 launch has been delayed again. Apparently the elliptical gyro-stabilizers that they need for the real working boomerang-controllers are on exclusive license to the DARPA until late May, and they still need to work out some kinks in the collision sensors to minimize damage in case of mis-throws. Supposedly their ultimate goal is for the boomerang-controller to return to no matter where you move in the room much like the boomerang in Legend of Zelda (Note: There will never be a Zelda game for PS3.). Of course I don’t need to remind you how this innovate technology will help change the world, but I will tell you that I have heard that world-changing technology apparently does not come cheaply.

The lineup of new RealThrow^TM boomerang-based titles seems to be coming along well. The screenshots (which I unfortunately cannot release due to NDAs) for both Konami’s Castlevania: Crossfire and Capcom’s Mega Man spin-off, Quick Man: Vengeance, look amazing. There were also some heavy hints that there may be an Australia-based Metal Gear Solid sequel. It was something like “Did you know that Australia is home to 25% of the world’s population of venomous snakes and over 80% of all snakes there are venomous… WELL THERE IS ABOUT TO BE ONE MORE DANGEROUS ‘SNAKE’ THERE… WITH A BOOMERANG… A BOOMERANG BECAUSE IT’S AUSTRALIA.” I thought that it was kind of less subtle than they meant it to be, but I guess it was a rushed announcement. There is unfortunately still no word from Taito on the possibility of a Power Blade sequel.

kthxbye.

Pain. No one likes it. (except for masochists, but anyway) But of course it is useful. For instance, it tells us when our food is burning us! But that is now. What if, in the future we had super-skin, highly-resistant to damage and scuffing? It would make sense to cure pain then, especially since stuff that used to hurt, just shouldn’t anymore, because it doesn’t damage us!

However, we suck at curing pain right now. Sure we have anaesthetics, but those are only useful in certain situations. So what is our best painkiller where you can maintain consciousness? Morphine? No offense to morphine-addicts, but as a “painkiller” it sucks. I mean it doesn’t really STOP pain, so much as it covers it up with crazy feelings and hallucinations or whatever, much like those “air-freshening” sprays cover up odors by filling the room with artificial lavender and citrus. And then there are plenty of other so-called painkillers, which actually work by “relieving the symptoms that cause pain”. That’s kind of sneaky, I think. Well, we are probably going to need some advanced micro-neurology before we come up with anything really good.

But by that point, we can probably cure more than just physical paint. We can make it so we don’t feel sad, or frustrated, or whatever. Would that be great? Some people say without bad things good things don’t have meaning, but maybe those people are the ones who don’t have meaning. Think about it: what if we cured, for example, hate. Does love lose meaning? I mean is hate even the opposite of love or is it apathy or something else? The truth is there are no clear opposites, and getting rid of the bad feelings could only stop the good things if they were even related. Duh.

I know what you are thinking. “But if people didn’t feel guilt or shame, wouldn’t they do bad things all the time?” No. They wouldn’t do bad things because they would have the painful desires that make people do bad things, like hunger, and lust, and greed, and etc. People would all become boring hippie-buddhas who love everything as it is and never want to do anything because they are just happy. (again except for masochists) And honestly, that would suck.

So basically what I am saying is you might as well enjoy your morphine if you have any.

kthxbye.