There is a great danger to the world which I have recently been alerted to. Diabolical chthonic predators plot against humanity at this very moment. You can see all the facts for yourself at OctopusTruth.com. I would not link to this if it was not important.
kthxbye.
World peace. It is a good idea … in theory. The problem is that it is a bit difficult to implement. Even world peace for a day would not be easy. And, as they say, you have to learn to walk before you can run. This is why I propose World Cupcake Day.
The idea is simple. One free cupcake, for every person on Earth, sponsored by all world governments and run by volunteers with government cooperation. Sure, it will be a challenge, but it’s a bit more achievable than world peace! That gives people hope! I imagine coordinating groups will have to work with local governments to work out effective cupcake distribution systems. And volunteers working on the project would have to learn about different cultures to find out what flavors, ingredients, and frosting colors will be acceptable in what areas. And all this will help increase global understanding and bring people closer together.
“But what about terrorists?” you ask? “Don’t terrorists hate cupcakes?” No. Even terrorists are okay with cupcakes. That is the beauty of this plan. Sure, maybe we can’t stop war. But imagine if everyone could just have a cupcake. Every person on Earth would feel at least little bit better for a moment, and isn’t that a good start?
kthxbye.
Time Machines. We’ve all heard about them. But they are not invented yet. Some say that the fact that time machines have never been observed coming back in time to them is evidence that they will never be invented. I say, “Pfft. Like time travellers would ever want to vist these naysayers.”
Here is the truth about time machines. Of course they will be invented. But they are not going to come back in time to see us without a good reason. So if you want to go to the future, give them a reason. I’ve know been a bit vauge, so allow me to outline a specific strategy for you here.
First we need to identify time travellers’ motivations. Who will invent time machines? Sorry, H.G. Wells; it’s not gonna be one guy in a shed. You need research teams and money. Well, an oppressive future government will be the most likely to have access to these resources. Okay. Why would they come back in time? Well obviously they won’t try much to change history; that’s already been established to be crazy, dangerous, and unlikely to be effective. So they need to grab resources that will have no further effect on history, but still have potential use. For instance, they will probably try to recuit retired great minds from the Information Era.
I think you can see where I’m going here. They will need great ‘bloggers to act as Information Command Officers to control the minds of heavily overpopulated sectors of the future with InfoBlasts. So that means if you want to see the future you need to start ‘blogging your ass of now so that you can be remembered and thus land yourself a nice cushy position in the eventual Information Buearacracy.
Now that I’ve written this, they probably won’t let me in out of spite, but that’s okay. I don’t write this for myself. I write this for the world.
kthxbye.
The video-gamers tell me it is the beginning of a new generation, and I have to agree. Already the new Xbox is beginning to take games into a 360 degree change of direction, and Nintendo promises a revolution, which of course takes longer than rotation, hence its later release date. But Sony’s innovative new system promises to combine rotating and revolving in a way that may change the world forever.
Sony’s real working boomerang controller promises incredible innovations in gameplay. Sure Nintendo tried to copy the motion-sensitive controller idea with their “stick controller”, but last I heard about that, it doesn’t even come back to you when you throw it! The gaming industry also sees clear possibilities for boomerang based gameplay. I have already heard that Capcom is working on a Megaman spin-off featuring the “Quick Man” character, and Konami is working on a new more boomerang-centric Castlevania game. I have also heard a rumor about Taito developing a sequel to Power Blade but this is unconfirmed.
Boomerang-gaming is not just a physical reality, but also a powerful metaphor. It is about trust. You trust in yourself to let go of your control for a second and hope that it will come back to you. It also gives us a strong connection to the real air and the real world while simultaneously immersing us in a game world. It is a blending of boundaries that allows us to consider more deeply our existence as mental beings.
And what does this all really mean for the World? For humankind? Well this is obviously another signal of the new age of rapid technological and cultural development which we are entering. The video-gamers call it the next generation of gaming, but I call it the dawning of a New Renaissance. First there were ‘blogs, next came boomerang-gaming, and what comes beyond our human imaginations can guess certainly at, but whatever is next, we can’t stop it.
kthxbye.